September 09, 2014

soon my life will change forever

in sixteen days my life will change forever.

as i sit here tonight, my heart and my head seem to not be able to wrap around the reality and seriousness of what lies ahead of me.

as i have sat and tried to prepare my farewell talk, my thoughts seem to wonder.

anxious is the key word to describe how i am feeling. to be quite frank, i don't even remember what it feels like to not feel anxious.

i look back when i thought life was tough in high school, but nothing. i mean NOTHING compares to the emotions, nervousness, and excitement that comes from preparing to leave on a mission.

when i received my call in may, september seemed so far away. and now it is here and i can't seem to wrap my head around it.

the reality i think is finally hitting me.

i am leaving.

i am going to miss the little things.

little things like having my mom play with my hair. or even jamming in the car with the windows down. laughing hysterically with my friends at the latest hours of the night, shopping and lunch dates with my momma, phone calls with my brothers.... and the list goes on.

i am not quite sure how i am going to say goodbye to the people i adore, but i know through the lord i can do all things.

sometimes i feel like i can't do it, that i am not strong enough, that i need to give up because it is hard.

but then i soon remember. what is rewarding that isn't hard?


the emotions i am feeling are normal and i think i would be worried if i wasn't feeling this way.

i mean seriously. getting ready to leave everything and everyone behind for 18 months is SCARY and that is no secret.

when i start to feel anxious, instead of thinking about everything i am going to miss, i try to think of what i will be doing for the next 18 months.

and that will be bringing others unto the truth and happiness and i don't think there will be anything better.

i know that through the lord i can do anything and he will indeed help me as i prepare to leave and serve him.

18 months will go faster than i will be able to believe.

this is happening.
this is happening.
this is happening.

now it is time to enjoy the 16 days i have left.

for soon i will be out teaching the people of missouri.

this is happening.

so it is now time to enjoy it.


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